Waiting

I have spent, what feels like an eternity, waiting on the Lord. Waiting for His presence, His voice, His will, His direction. Then I read this verse: “Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” Psalm 27:14 (NIV) It reminds me that waiting will not be easy and doesn't have a time limit. But waiting will get me my heart's desire. My true heart's desire not the frivolous ones that I sometimes offer up in prayer.

What is my heart's desire? My true heart's desire to make a difference in this world and change lives for Christ. I've begged God to give me a ministry to love on women. I don't want to be a women's director (my friend Heather does a great job at that). I want to just love women in the place where they are hurting the most. Right now I see that women are hurting from their stomachs. That food and the craving of food has a stronghold on their lives and Satan is living in their kitchens. They are destroying their bodies, but more importantly they are moving farther away from God. So I asked God to make a ministry to help with this hurt and He is.

Waiting on the Lord is creating a ministry for me that I never dare dreamed could happen. It begins this fall with the book, Made to Crave in my Healthy Living class and it won't stop there, but for now that is the plan. I do hope you join me for a ride that will change your life.

Did you miss me?

I know I know I haven't posted in awhile. Were you on pins and needles how the end of my 14 day journey went? Well the end wasn't as dramatic as I wanted it to be, but God still showed up. In 14 days, I lost 7 pounds. Not bad for a girl who hasn't lost anything in months. I felt better so much better not having bread or sugar in my system. I did go off the wagon for Easter weekend and I felt so sick Sunday night. I feel much better today with clean eating Monday behind me. I do want the temptations out my house again. The Hawaiian rolls and leftover Easter dessert need to go, but so far I'm holding out strong.

Here is what I learned from my 14 days:

By sacrificing something small, God revealed something big
I feel more in control by letting God take control of my eating habits
I feel more powerful in saying no to food temptations then in giving in
I do not miss the morning guilt after binging on ice cream or other desserts
I have more energy and did not need to nap right after lunch
God IS with me and holding my hand when temptation is near
I CAN do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me

It felt so good to be so close to God, to hear His voice and feel His presence. I'm continuing to not eat bread, pasta and dessert. I am continuing to eat egg muffins for breakfast, salads for lunch and healthy dinners. I am allowing myself one meal a weekend to go off the wagon (as Jackie Warner recommends in her book). I am watching the amount of sugar hidden in other grocery items. I actually look at the ingredients on a package now. I'm eating more fruit and vegetables. I'm not snacking on processed foods. I don't know how long I can keep this going, but I like it and pray God keeps me to my commitment.

May He bless you in your journey as He has blessed mine!

Day 9 - God is moving

Day 9 and I have lost 7 pounds! Not bad for someone who usually has trouble losing 1 pound a week. God is stirring something deep in my soul that is starting to come to the surface. Though I don't know what exactly it is, I can say it is life changing. I've been watching Jamie Oliver's new food revolution and the last time I watched it, Healthy Living Inside & Out was started. This time I've got something even bigger brewing in me and I can't wait to see if it is the direction God takes me in.

Other things to mention: I managed to avoid the tempting cupcakes and doughnuts at MOPS this morning. A big deal for me as I felt tempted and said "I WAS MADE FORE MORE!". I started to feel jealous of the women around me who don't have this idol of food, but then came to my senses that ridding myself of this dysfunctional relationship is the very thing that is bringing me closer to God. As Mr. Gru says "Lightbulb!"

God has me discussing my journey with more and more people. It is very exciting to share this passion and the things I have been learning with others. Even more exciting to see God stirring up their hearts too.

God has also been showing me the amazing women that surround me in my life and how each and every one of them brings a different piece to the puzzle. I don't know if you read this, but thank you my twin, my mentor, my new mom friends, my cff, the one who lets me love her boys, my healthy living partner in crime, the 2 most amazing 20 somethings and every other woman who touches my life. I am humbled to be called your friend and to walk any part of this journey with you. God had used you to show me how to live again and what the definition of true friendship means.

Days 6-8 It's been a long couple days

I haven't forgotten this blog or my covenant, but the past couple days have flown by. Day 5 instead of binging on cake, cookies, alcohol or anything else sugar/idol related, we did have Georgio's calazones which did add 3 pounds back. Yep one meal added 3 pounds. So I've been slowly taking those 3 pounds back off and I'm almost there. So right now in 8 days I have lost 5 pounds. Not bad in one week.

I have 5 days left of my covenant with God and it now includes small group, dinner with my in-laws and Easter. Not an easy 5 days to stick to this diet. I'm in charge of dessert tonight and my house smells wonderful. The kind of wonderful you want to lick the bowl until it is completely gone wonderful. Why torture myself you ask? Because the house we meet in is going gluten-free and I wanted to make something their kids would love and the adults would find tasty. My in-laws are planning on Subway with KFC sides so I'll be emailing asking for my sub to be a salad.

I made another round of egg muffins for breakfast this week. These are so much easier then making an omelet every day. This time I did shredded chicken, green peppers, tomatoes and little bit of feta cheese. My taste tester, Sophia loved it.

Breakfast - 2 egg muffins (slightly shared with my taste tester)
Snack - carrots (definitely shared with my taste tester)
Lunch - romaine, strawberries, feta cheese and sliced almonds with poppyseed dressing
Snack - vanilla yogurt (mostly taken by my tast tester)
Dinner - turkey taco salad (yes again, but easy when you have 30 minutes to eat from when your hubby gets home to leaving for small group)

I'll share my Made to Crave thoughts tomorrow....good stuff happening!

Day 5 - A little late

Day 5 - down 7 pounds!

I started my morning staring at the scale. How could it be that in 5 short days I was down 7 pounds. I felt strong, powerful and even a little cocky. I went out to lunch with my mom and girls and made good choices. Again feeling strong and powerful as I asked for an apple instead of my usual wheat bread. But then a few hours later, the ground shifted. God slammed the door we have been asking for an answer for: I lost my job. We were at the library when this happened. I listened to the polite "let go" as I watched my daughters play amongst the puzzles, two of my closet friends wrangle up their kids and mom's worried look as I slumped against the window seat. I no longer felt strong, powerful or even remotely cocky. I wanted a cookie, a cake (yes an entire cake), a cupcake, a bottle of wine and a carton of cigarettes. I wanted all of this as my thoughts ranted with swear words at the man on the other end of my phone. As I hung up the phone I had no words and yet God was there. I could feel His whisper, His love telling me it will all be okay. He is here. He is in control. He is powerful. He is strong. He is the calm to my raging storm. I do not know what the future holds, but I do know He has a plan and I am going to rest in that plan. Not saying we didn't freak out a little last night. Not to say that I didn't stumble last night. I did I ate Georgio's calazone and I gained 3 pounds back this morning. I've asked for forgiveness and ate a healthy breakfast and back on the journey.

Three different versions of Psalm 27:14. I am waiting for the next door to open now that one is closed.

New International Version (©1984)
Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

New Living Translation (©2007)
Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.

English Standard Version (©2001)
Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!

Day 4 = a day of headaches

Day 5: down 5 pounds!!

My head hurt today. Maybe it is the caffeine withdrawal or the weather, but either way I'm thankful that Sophia took a long afternoon nap and I could rest my aching head. As I read another chapter in Made to Crave today, these verses really hit home.

1 Peter 1:3-11
3 His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4 Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. 5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge;6 and to knowledge, self‑control; and to self‑control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness;7 and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins. 10 Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, 11 and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I know its a lot of verses to handle at once, but the gist for me is that God has given me everything I need to get through this journey. As I seek good eating/better health I will be filled with knowledge of how to keep going. I will have self control (whoa big word for me!) and with self control... perseverance (not sure if this word has ever been in my vocab!) I can be free from this control of food in my life and God gave me everything I need to do it. I will also gain characteristics of self control and perseverance, two words that have NEVER described me. A very big breakthrough for me today!

I also skipped on ice cream and cookies at my parent's house for dessert! It felt powerful to say no even when they said "but it's sugar free".

Breakfast - 2 egg muffins (Sophia did not steal any today)
Snack - no time since we headed to the grocery store
Lunch - salad with romaine, red peppers, chicken and goat cheese
Snack - vanilla yogurt with mixed berries
Dinner - caesar salad with romaine, chicken, parm cheese and yes some croutons plus carrots

Now time for bed, my head is still hurting.

Do my cheeks look different yet?

Day 3 - Down 3 pounds!

Of course I don't look different yet, but the scale is moving in the right direction! Today's chapter in Made to Crave was titled "Growing Closer to God". How do you grow closer to God during a health journey? Lisa explains, "By making choices to deny ourselves something that is permissible, but not beneficial. And making this intentional sacrifice for the sole purpose of growing closer to God. After all Jesus said Himself, 'If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me' (Luke 9:23). I have to say I do look at this 14 day commitment as denying myself. I passed on the homemade cookies at small group last or sharing graham crackers with Sophia today or looking past the leftover cake in my fridge. I would normally scoop those up and not think twice about it. But now to think that denying myself could bring my closer to God and end this roller coaster feels very freeing. By growing closer to God it "reestablishes that God not food is in control of my life". I'm posting that last part in my kitchen: GOD IS IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE, NOT FOOD!

Morning - 2 egg muffins (see previous post for recipe) *shared with Sophia who apparently likes eggs now
Snack - vanilla yogurt with mixed berries *shared with Sophia who apparently thinks her yogurt is boring
Lunch - leftover turkey taco salad minus cheese and corn chips (in total honesty I did have some corn chips on my salad last night) and 1/2 a tortilla with chicken enchilada (yep not on the diet plan but I was getting concerned about calories for the day and Tim didn't want the rest....yes I feel guilty....yes I'm forgiven myself and moved on)
Snack - vanilla yogurt with blueberries
Dinner - Chicken with mushrooms and onions with broccoli
I didn't have Worcestershire sauce so I used a bit of steak sauce and some low-fat sour cream with the mushrooms and onions. Frozen broccoli just added a little bit of seasoned salt and some lemon juice.

CHICKEN WITH MUSHROOMS AND ONIONS

Marinate two boneless, skinless chicken breasts in 1 tsp olive oil, the juice of one lemon, chopped garlic and black pepper. Pan fry with non stick spray, dump the whole thing in the pan, juices, garlic and all. When chicken is done, transfer to plate, cover with foil and DO NOT clean pan, just add a bit of water to bring up the tasty browned bits from the bottom then add finely chopped onion and mushrooms. Sautee until soft and the mushrooms release their moisture. Season with pepper and just a dash of Worcestershire sauce (not too much as there is a lot of sodium, literally just a few drops). Top your chicken with the mushrooms, add a generous side salad and enjoy!


Pretty sure I'm eating an apple later because I'm still hungry, but heading out for a walk with the family first.

Cheeks on a Diet - Day 2

DAY 2 - lost 1 pound!

I probably shouldn't call this a diet. It is a commitment, a pledge, an opportunity for real change. I am optimistic of this change, but that is easy to say on day 2 when I can confidently say yes I passed on the mint cookies that Abby just asked for, yes I passed on the toast this morning and yes I avoided eating the rest of Sophia's graham cracker. Temptation is easy to resist on day 2, we will revisit the subject of temptation another day.

Today I read in Made to Crave about the importance of accountability and prayer from others. I have been blessed with some great women around me that are praying for me, reading this and putting up with my emails, questions and comments as I start this journey. Definitely helpful that some have come before me on this health journey and others are starting out with me.

The book also suggests, as you are making food choices, singing "Stop in the name of love, before you break my heart. Think it over!"Yes I have had that song in my head all day, you're welcome for getting it stuck in your head too. Again didn't need it today, but I'm thinking as soon as I head to a party with a mountain of desserts, that song is going to be the soundtrack.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, 12 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! 12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Menu for Day 2:
Breakfast: 2 egg muffins
Recipe from Katelyn at http://www.kalynskitchen.com/ a great resource for South Beach recipes
Egg Muffins Revisited Again
(Makes 12 muffins)

15 eggs (for silicone muffin pans, use 12 eggs for metal muffin tins or individual silicone cups. You can use less egg yolks and more egg white if you prefer.)
1-2 tsp. Spike Seasoning
1-2 cups grated low fat cheese (I like sharp cheddar or a blend of cheddar/Jack cheese, use less cheese if using meat)
Optional, but highly recommended, 3 green onions diced small.
Optional: chopped veggies such as blanched broccoli, red pepper, zucchini, mushrooms, etc. (Using veggies will reduce the fat content)
Optional: diced Canadian bacon, lean ham, or crumbled cooked turkey sausage

Preheat oven to 375 F. Use regular or silicone muffin pan, 12 muffin size. If using silicone pan, spray with nonstick spray. If using regular muffin pan, put two paper liners into each slot, then spray liner with nonstick spray.

In the bottom of the muffin cups layer diced meat, if using, vegetables, if using, cheese and green onions. You want the muffin cups to be about 2/3 full, with just enough room to pour a little egg around the other ingredients. Break eggs into large measuring bowl with pour spout, add Spike, and beat well. (I used to add a bit of half and half or milk, but lately I like the way they turn out without it.) Pour egg into each muffin cup until it is 3/4 full. I like to stir slightly with a fork. Bake 25-35 minutes until muffins have risen and are slightly browned and set.

Muffins will keep at least a week in the refrigerator without freezing. Egg muffins can be frozen and reheated. For best results, thaw in refrigerator before reheating. Microwave on high about 2 minutes to reheat.

Snack: vanilla yogurt with frozen berries (shared with Sophia)
Lunch: salad with chicken, romaine, green peppers, cucumbers, tomatoes, little bit of cheese and some caesar dressing
Snack: apple (again shared with Sophia)
Dinner: taco salad with ground turkey on romaine
Dessert at small group: Sorry SG love your desserts, but NOPE!

These Cheeks Need a Diet

I am a sugar addict and a carb addict and a food addict and then back to a sugar addict. It's true. I could walk in a meeting and say "hi my name is Jen and I'm an addict". I'm been on a roller coaster with this food addiction for too many years and have tried all of the "magic" diets. I have had a true kick in the pants, this time from God. God has a lot to say about my food addiction and what I've been doing to my body. I've been reading Beth Moore "Breaking Free", "Made to Crave" by the president of Proverbs 31 and "17 Day Diet" by some doctor who I don't know if I believe everything he says, but he is on the right place. So all this to say I'm committing 14 days (until Easter) to cleansing my house, my soul, my addiction. It starts today. D day if you will. I'll post everyday for the next 14 days what I've been eating, my weight loss and overall cleansing thoughts. Get ready, it's going to another fun ride. PS diet is loosely based on the 17 Day Diet, counting carbs for diabetics, my chiropractor and South Diet.

Breakfast: 2 egg omelet with cheese
Snack: vanilla yogurt with frozen berries
Lunch: Romaine lettuce, goat cheese, small amount of pear and small handful of sliced almonds with raspberry dressing and carrots
Snack: vanilla yogurt with blueberries
Dinner: salad, grilled turkey burger and corn on the cob

Dessert: NOPE